A father who beats, is only a man!

An abusive home is not a home where there are any familial relationships left. The day a girls father starts whipping her mom, he loses all his rights as a father. He is then only a man beating her mother. The daughter, in the case below, slaps her father because she sees her mom get beat up.  In a situation like this, self-preservation always comes first. And the only way is to defend herself and her mother against the violent onslaught.

Because the daughter slaps her father, the violence would stop a bit because the daughter is all grown up and he sees he can’t control her. But finally the father is a man. When he gets  beat by his daughter,  he may step back a bit because he may be humiliated – that a woman, and then his daughter slapped him. But his anger won’t have abated.

In a case like this, the women in the home should watch their back, especially the mom. And if you are old enough to beat your father, you are old enough to move out of your father’s house. That should be the next step.

You should also remember one thing – don’t get frightened to get beat up. There is pain yes. But the moment you stop getting frightened of landing up in the hospital, that’s the day you will start changing the situation to your advantage.


I don’t feel to go anonymous here.

The biggest mistake I ever did was that ‘I slapped my father’

Before going into details I would like to tell about my father’s family background.

My father’s family hated my mother for giving birth to me. They had craving for a son. Somehow, my mother managed to get out of my father’s hometown.

It was all possible due to courtesy of my grandfather. He was on his death bed when he apologized to my mom that he couldn’t do anything of the situation. He was the only noble soul in their family.

But after my grandfather died, his family again used to poison my father’s mind. We were in deep trouble sometimes due to his drinking habits and abusing my mother physically.

My mother used to never say a word in revolt.

It was a few years back, I was preparing for my medical entrances. I needed few books to study. As usual mom didn’t have money. I asked her to talk to dad at night about money to buy books. She hesitated a bit but eventually agreed.

Night after my father came back from his office, my mom went to ask money for my books. He was partly drunk at that time.

He suddenly started to beat my mom. This continued for almost one hour. I was far asleep but I was woken up due to sobs of my mother.

I asked the reason for her crying. She narrated me whole incident. I was in a fit of rage. I said to myself enough of this ‘’agyakari beti” business and went straight to him and bang!

I slapped him with all my strength. My mom came to stop me.

My father was literally stunned. He said some words which any father would never say to his daughter, he said “I should have listened to my brothers, I should have killed you the moment you were born!”

I was always very close to my mother. Earlier I didn’t hate my father but I didn’t love him much either.

After the slapping incident something changed. My father stopped harassing my mother. And he also stopped talking to me after that.

It’s the mistake which, when I think logically, was actually a blessing in disguise.. :-)”


Can moms and wives be abusive?

When we think of abuse, we automatically think of a man. True, proportion of men who beat their wives will be much larger than women who beat their husband. But both genders are capable of violence. Women can be as abusive as a men. And the damage they perhaps do to their children is worse than what a man does.

Regrettably the domestic violence laws are skewed towards women, for obvious reasons. But abuse is not limited by gender and the laws need to reflect the same. There are many many issues that men have  to deal with when they are abused by women. First, un-believability of the situation. That a woman, his mom or wife has beaten or abused him. It is this narrow view of what violence is all about is skews someone’s perception of who can be violent.

As society, we need to get over this mindset that women are pure beings and incapable of as much violence towards another as a man can be.

Help raise funds for water tankers for villages in Beed, Maharashtra

In May 2016, we help raise funds to the tune of Rs 3,15,000 to support the water crisis the farmers were facing in Beed. The money was used to supply water tankers to drought affected families in the region. Around 24,00,000 litres of water was provided to the families. The funds were given to two well known organisations, who work with farmers and lead many initiatives to change the farming economy.

1. The Naam Foundation which is spear headed by Shri Nana Patekar and Shri  Makarand Anaspure. Naam received a donation of Rs 2,00,000 from the Rotary E-Club of Mumbai Indians (ReCMI). Special thank you to the ReCMI team – Mr Sarath Divella (CEO, Lionbridge), Mr Pravin Sawant (VP & Head HRD, 63 Moons Technologies Limited), Mr Ajit Singh (AVP & Head of Talent Management, Netmagic Solutions) and Dr Deepak Deshpande (SVP & CHRO, Netmagic Solutions) who made it happen.

Rotary team with Naam Foundation trustee Shri Rajiv Sawant

2. Fulora Foundation, which is headed by Shri Mayank Gandhi. They received Rs 1,00,000 from Rotary Club of Bombay Peninsula. A Special thank you to Mr Pankaj Vora, who organised the effort at Bombay Peninsula. Fulora also received a donation of Rs 15,000 from the Kashmiri Pandit Association, Mumbai.


Sometimes a dose of ‘friend’ can fix many things.


Many women and men end up on the highway to violence because they don’t get a perspective of what they are dealing with. I would say only one thing to them. Cultivate friends.

Even if you feel like hell. Even if you feel crazy or ashamed or anything else. Make an attempt to make a friend. Ask someone you like in the building or at work for a coffee. Share your food with them. Engage with them. Share gossip or information with them. It’s the most difficult thing to make friends, when you are in hell. So as much as its easy to write to do, its equally hellish to actually do. But do.

In a while, you will be able to talk about serious things and get a perspective. It’s most important to get an objective view about things because if you are in a violent situation, the bite of an ant, will make you want to run to the hospital. So try making friends. Someone who will shake you up and  tell you, hey its just an ant that bit you. Its ok.

Keep learning.

The best thing that you can do for yourself. Work, get skilled, learn. It’s quite possible you may not be able to deploy these skills as you may not be allowed to work etc. But learning and skilling oneself opens a whole new world and gives you amazing perspective on things.  Even if you don’t work. When you are in a box, you think that box is your world. Break that box. Learn.