This query was posted in a Domestic Violence Survivors group. Eksaath foundation had this advise. This would be relevant to all victims who are going are facing emotional harassment by their abuser. Most abusers live off the high they get from the harassing the victim. The victims fear feeds the abuse. The goal most often is to emotionally destabilise the victim and then go for the kill. In any abusive situation, a calm and cold unemotional response is like dousing the abusers abuse (at that point of time). Like water on fire. Every small victory helps.
First you need to stop giving into your fear and take charge of your emotions. The more emotional you will get the more ineffective and more you will appear to be unstable. Your abuser would be great at masking his emotions in front of others. Second, if his attempt to take custody has been thwarted then take that as evidence that you may be doing something right. Third, begin documenting every thing in an email to your self. The email will have date stamp that’s untamperable and can be used as evidence of the chaos that’s being caused. Fourth, take your children into confidence about what’s happening. The more you appear as a unit in private and public. The better it would be to counter his claims. Fifth, join a public group when you can participate and contribute to help other people. Building a supportive network will be most crucial. Again this will help in building a persona, that you are a great mom and citizen. If you are working, engage with professionals in social environment and professional environments where they see you perform as a capable person. Network with those in legal arena too. They could give you insight. Please enroll yourself and your children in self defense classes. As much as the harassment will continue, and it may. The only way to rebut the harassment is to build your emotional framework to be stronger.