You can love someone who tortures you. There is no control over who you love. But you can be away from those who torture you. That you can control. And as torturous as that can be, to be away from the one you love, it would be more damaging to you to be with him or her.
Take that step to walk away. It might take time to disconnect or disengage. But your spirit will be intact. And you will not have a problem looking in the mirror.
Sometimes even feeling crappy is OK. As long as you get to have moments of unbruised love with the person you are in love with. You feel, those moments will tide you through life. You know what they will. But do you want to? And should you? Should you not want to feel no pain and just be happy?
Google the web and see how many many women live alone, yet lead happy lives. It’s very possible and OK to be alone. You need to get the idea straight. A man who beats you and torments you does not love you. So why would you want to be with someone like that?