How do you forgive those who you believe have hurt you, tormented you, took your childhood away. Betrayed you? Even at the age of 40-50-60-80 people are unable to forgive and forget what happened to them decades ago, when they were kids. Most keep waiting for a tearful apology that perhaps will never come their way. And they hang on to this feeling of betrayal forever. Right into their own adulthood and retirement.
The thing is, you remember your bad stuff with more horror when you have less of good stuff in your life to focus on. There is an energy imbalance. Negativity attracts more negativity. If you want to forgive those who screwed your happiness, the only only way to do this is to be brutal with your inner child and make it do things that will make it happy and collect brownie points.
Collect enough brownie points and you will realise, you will think of your lost childhood with sadness not anger, not vengeance towards your parent, not rage even. A shrink will tell you, be your own parent and apologise to your inner kid. This is very difficult to do. That’s asking you to be objective and rational when you could be raging inside. Normal people cannot be so. So to expect someone who has been abused to be forgiving towards their past, is expecting the mouse to move the mountain.
So you take a roundabout route. Make yourself happy. Be selfish. This is the only way to forgive those who hurt you as a kid. Because the more you are happy, the more your past won’t matter. Those who hurt you then become irrelevant today. And so you become ok with your past, with your parents.
For all of you there, who deal with such things, letting go is a bullshit phrase. You have to work to work at it to make yourself let go. It’s a hard, hard job. And it will require you to surround yourself with people who genuinely like you and are happy to be around you.
Be assured, that what baby steps you take, will help you release your anger. Thus the forgiving will come automatically.