Love your abuser?

Sometimes one ends up liking or loving things that is bad for us – junk food? We know it’s bad, but we can’t help it. And it requires phenomenal willpower, sometimes inhuman kind, to walk away from things that make us feel good but are bad for us.  Same for people. We sometimes genuinely love people who abuse us.

In the darkness, a match light becomes a source of hope. But if you are sitting in a room filled with scraps of old paper, no matter how urgent the need to light up, one can’t. You will just burn the room down and make things more worse for yourself.

So what to do in such case? When you live with a person you love who perhaps loves you too, but abuses you too. Google is filled with cliched answers. Some may work for you. But all answers need one thing. For you to focus on something other than that you like or love which is not good for you.  And like one has to work on losing weight every day, you have to focus every day on that something else.  That something could be a hobby or an activity that makes you happy. And slowly your mind will focus on that. And the addiction to that person or thing that is not good for you will start to diminish.

It will be like losing one micro-gram a day. A very very slow process.  And it will take you one-two-three-four years even. But you will get enough courage from the pursuit of the genuinely good thing, to walk away from the bad thing.


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