What is it about women that drives them to stay with people who make them feel like shit? Genetically, we are inclined to take care of or to fix things, to believe that things will get better – always hopeful. But sometimes one has to draw the line for oneself, as we would for those who we love and who would be in similar traumatic situations.
The conflict that Ms Nigella Lawson faced in her personal life is a testament to this. Beautiful, admired by her audience, talented, and still with such low self esteem that she allowed a man to hold her by the neck in a popular restaurant, in full view of people.
The perception is that domestic violence happens only to the lower class people. Uncouth men only belong to that strata of society. Such a fallacy to believe this! Women there have more guts to deal with men who are violent and abusive.
It is the middle class and upper class that feel that they have to keep appearances, even when they get emotionally battered. You can see from the picture the threat, the violence in the man reflected by the fear on her face. The way she is pacifying as a woman does usually to pacify her
The only way is to walk away. For women, their life’s destiny is not to change the personality of the oppressor, but to get away from him/them, so that they remain unbroken. Domestic violence is about breaking the victim’s self to shreds. That’s ‘that’ power that abusers seek and get off on. Women have to understand this. Once you take that power away, the oppressor has no go. Women have to understand this as well.