Session with girls in Third Year Bachelors of Finance

Eksaath conducted its program on ‘How to Manage Pain and Trauma’ with girls pursuing third year bachelors of finance at a womens college. This time we had an issue resolution session too where we discussed various problems girls were facing at home and work.

The program helped girls raise many issue relating to sexual molestation, parental and family abuse, lack of support – for work or education, emotional issues with mothers, abusive romantic relationships etc.

Our discussion helped girls to understand how they could start viewing pain in a different light and attempt to move past it.

Eksaath was able to resolve a pre-marital issue of a 21 year old girl who was conflicted about marrying someone she had not met. Many emotional issues get seeded more in doubt or the unknown nature of the situation one has to handle. And sometimes all one needs is a perspective.

If you or anyone you know needs counselling, please contact us.

 

 

 

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Speak UP!

Just had one session with 19 year old girls on how to respond to trauma and assaults that happen on routine basis. What do you do if a person tries to invade her personal physical space? Say, inappropriate language or visuals or physical behavior?
 
Speak up and tell that person you are behaving inappropriately, or you don’t like what the person is doing, so please don’t do it. Don’t yell or abuse at the assaulter. Be polite and respectfully engage with him or her in a loud voice. And if this does not work, scream your guts out and use your tongue as a weapon. Or based on the severity of the misbehavior, a physical defense is warranted. Most often matters do get sorted at the instance of the event.
 
The point is girls must be taught not to wait to respond. If a physically or verbally or visually inappropriate behavior happens, the girl must course correct that person on instance 1. It’s very important to teach this idea of polite but an offensive engagement with her opponent. Physical and emotional assaults happen every other day to all women. And we must respond to each and every instance with the idea of immediate self preservation.
 
Escalation comes in when problem is repeated and not resolved. But if we encourage our girls to own their spaces and shut down microscopic invasions, they will be able the deal with more severe assaults too. As human beings jostle for space in this world, the friction is most natural. The idea of protecting one’s personal space is an everyday one. And also about how to read the situation and square offthe inappropriateness.
 
At every instance, it’s not just the physical evidence that matters but also intent behind that evidence. A touch can feel sexual and look sexual but intent may be platonic. There are so many nuances to this. Bottomline is we need to tell not just our girls but our boys, if you don’t like something happening to you, speak up. There and then. Don’t wait.

Can you attempt to lead a normal life after years of abuse?

Can you attempt to lead a normal life after years of abuse? Whether it is sexual, physical or emotional, is there hope for victims of personal and domestic violence. Yes. There can be a skeleton of normalcy at least. And with self awareness, medication and support, you can begin to deal with what you have gone through. Can you move past it? Not really. The memories stay with you forever. The guilt, the shame, the fear it runs parallel to more positive emotions. And many a times it overwhelms the better senses and manifests in different forms of self abuse. But with proper pain management even these can be tackled. Not removed completely but managed. And even after that, every day is an uphill battle to stay sane. To not give into one’s demons. To stay positive and do what regular people do.

The victim in this article is now a professor at Georgetown University in USA. For her to be alive and well is an achievement. For her to be a professor, is even more phenomenal. Pain changes you. It makes you see your insides. And if you can create courage, you can build yourself into a better human being than what you were born to become. That’s the power of self. To all those going through hell in their lives, keep the faith. There is a better you and better life out there. #eksaathfoundation

Sportswear for girls

 

Sportswear donated by a Girl Scouts team in Maryland, USA to Eksaath. This was given to girls who play sports in a school in Mumbai. The girls find it tough to compete because of lack of formal wear. The girls play athletics, boxing, football etc.

Eksaath wishes to support girls at school through various initiatives. Sponsoring girls who play sports in one area. We hope to encourage more girls to play sports and compete in various sporting arena.

 

 

 

Learning to block

We started our self defense program on the 15 th of Nov. Its a 40 hr course. Within a week the girls are learning to block assaults. This is just one of the moves we have taught the girls.

Eksaath is looking to reach out to more girls and women at schools, colleges and corporates. And teach them how not to fear violence. What the program hopes to do is build muscle memory or auto reflex in the event someone invades their personal space. In the event women get assaulted the fear of that assault and more so about what to do when assaulted is self debilitating.

If one goes through a program like this, we can train our girls to respond without fear. This is an absolute joy for me to see. Eksaath Foundation is custom building the program to teach girls and women deal with abuse and violence. #domesticviolence #women #empowerment #selfdefense. eksaath.org

Dealing with emotional harassment from ex-husband

This query was posted in a Domestic Violence Survivors group. Eksaath foundation had this advise. This would be relevant to all victims who are going are facing emotional harassment by their abuser. Most abusers live off the high they get from the harassing the victim. The victims fear feeds the abuse. The goal most often is to emotionally destabilise the victim and then go for the kill. In any abusive situation, a calm and cold unemotional response is like dousing the abusers abuse (at that point of time). Like water on fire. Every small victory helps.

First you need to stop giving into your fear and take charge of your emotions. The more emotional you will get the more ineffective and more you will appear to be unstable. Your abuser would be great at masking his emotions in front of others. Second, if his attempt to take custody has been thwarted then take that as evidence that you may be doing something right. Third, begin documenting every thing in an email to your self. The email will have date stamp that’s untamperable and can be used as evidence of the chaos that’s being caused. Fourth, take your children into confidence about what’s happening. The more you appear as a unit in private and public. The better it would be to counter his claims. Fifth, join a public group when you can participate and contribute to help other people. Building a supportive network will be most crucial. Again this will help in building a persona, that you are a great mom and citizen. If you are working, engage with professionals in social environment and professional environments where they see you perform as a capable person. Network with those in legal arena too. They could give you insight. Please enroll yourself and your children in self defense classes. As much as the harassment will continue, and it may. The only way to rebut the harassment is to build your emotional framework to be stronger.